This is a follow up to a review I already wrote, if you haven’t read that one already you should start there.
I assume everyone gets tagged on Twitter sometimes? It might be a friend alerting you to a news story that is relevant to your local area, or an acquaintance who knows you enjoy a certain kind of joke, or a random stranger who read something you said once and decided to take moments of their fleeting life to call you some kind of slur. Mostly these interactions are inconsequential, a thing that will only resonate for milliseconds or moments, forgotten when the next thing happens. Occasionally, they are momentous… this is not one of those times. I got trolled into spending real money on Mint Chill Dude Wipes by someone I will never trust again.
Part 1: Oh, This, Again
Guess what, they can’t leave a bad thing alone, the DUDEPRODUCTS company has decided that along with beard oil and clothing(?) they are going to sell a new formulation of DUDE WIPES. It’s MINT CHILL!
Part 2: Yeah, this… again.
Allegedly, they sell individually wrapped ones but they weren’t available on Amazon. Target didn’t have the mint ones at all. I had to buy a set of three 48-count packs. I ordered these on Thursday and they arrived last night. As an aside: what is it about Thursdays? The last time was Thursday also, is there some kind of DUDE energy to Thursday that draws these things to me? The packaging contains the same stupid marketing copy as the last one. It has a new, and somehow worse, bad font for the MINT CHILL branding. The colour they used for it doesn’t really seem mint-y to me, it’s a bit too blue.
Due to the larger size of the packaging, compared to the individually wrapped ones, this one carries a suffocation warning. Suffocation is pretty far down the list of reasons I would keep a child away from these but it’s better to know
Part 3 — Yes, you guessed it.
So, I tasted this one, too. Pretty flavourless, still, but with a hint of the tingling sensation you get from Tic-Tacs. They smell very strongly of aloe along with the mint smell, which is not terrible.
Part 4 — Butt Stuff
I mentioned that I had made this mistake again to a few people and I got a pretty universal response “that’s going to burn when you use it” and that was my thought as well. It did not, which was a pleasant surprise. Everything else was the same as last time. For a reason I will come to later, I also used them on a number of other body parts: head, armpits, hands, and feet to no ill effect.
Part 5 — Fín.
Pretty much the same final thoughts as last time. I still think this is dumb marketing, they found a way to make the packaging uglier, but they also made it mint-y without burning, I guess it’s a wash. Still upset this doesn’t make me better at poker and chugging beer, or whatever. I am going to give these and the rest of the other ones to local homeless people since many of them don’t have access to hygiene products or facilities. I also want the fucking things out of my life.
3/10
